The Importance of Feeling Connected

If anyone were to ask me where my favorite place is in our Chapter office, my reply would most definitely be, “The reception area on Tuesday and Thursday mornings.” Why? Because every Tuesday and Thursday we hold sessions of MemoryWorks, our brain stimulation program for clients with MCI and early-stage dementia. Before the program begins, many of the participants arrive early to relax in the reception area and read the paper, enjoy a cup of coffee, or simply talk and catch up on what’s been happening with their fellow participants. What strikes me the most about these times is how warm and inviting this area can be as laughter fills the air and just about everyone has something to say. In fact, it often feels more like a celebration -- and in a sense, that’s exactly what it is — a celebration of connection and togetherness in the face of an illness that frequently causes individuals to become isolated and withdrawn.

One of the complaints we commonly hear from caregivers of people with early-stage dementia is that the diagnosed person “doesn’t want to do anything” or that “He’s just being stubborn and isn’t really trying.” In most cases, this may appear to be true but appearances can often be deceiving. Loss of initiative and lack of motivation are two symptoms of early-stage dementia that are very difficult to overcome. If left on their own, many early-stage individuals will find it easier to give in to these symptoms and end up spending much of their days sleeping late, watching television or just being idle for hours at a time. It’s not long before they begin to withdraw socially and isolate themselves by simply staying at home.

So how can caregivers encourage early-stage people to keep active and connected? One way is by helping the person to find programs and activities that offer opportunities for socialization with others who are also living with early dementia. When asked what they like best about coming to MemoryWorks, most of the participants talk about how good it feels to be with others like themselves. As one member pointed out, “We can relax together and not feel like we have anything to prove here, so it gives us a chance to laugh a lot and forget about our dementia for awhile.” In the Early Stage Services section of our Web site, you will find a listing of programs available to people with Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) or early dementia. In addition to those offerings, we have a new free program called Connections which will begin on September 9th. If you are a person with an early-stage diagnosis who would like to join with others living with memory loss and talk about what interests you, Connections may be for you! The group will meet here at the Chapter office every Wednesday from 1:30 – 3:00 p.m. To learn more about this program, please contact Lauren Tammany, Coordinator of Early Stage Services, at 646-744-2900. An interview is required.

I have often said that I am constantly inspired in my work by the words of my early-stage clients. I cannot think of a better way to end this article than by quoting Carl Eden as he spoke about the benefits of being a member of the MemoryWorks group: “Human contact is the most important gain. There is no worse company for memory loss than isolation. The affirmation we get from supportive human contact keeps us cheerful, connected and more communal.”

If you have an early-stage diagnosis, or you are the caregiver for someone with early dementia, and you would like to know more about advocacy opportunities, please contact me at 646-744-2911 or send an e-mail to pmichaud@alznyc.org.

— Paulette Michaud

Director, Early Stage Services

CAREGIVER'S NETWORK

Caregiving by Men

and everyone else, too...

Mac and Cheese

  1 lb macaroni (I prefer large elbows or medium shells)

  6 tablespoons all-purpose flour 6 tablespoons all-purpose flour

  6 tablespoons butter or margarine (I prefer butter) 6 tablespoons butter or margarine (I prefer butter)

  2 cups milk (I use skim) 2 cups milk (I use skim)

  8 - 12 ounces extra-sharp cheddar cheese, shredded 8 - 12 ounces extra-sharp cheddar cheese, shredded

  1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon salt

  1/4 teaspoon black pepper 1/4 teaspoon black pepper

Instructions

1.Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

2.Cook macaroni according to package instructions.

3.Drain, rinse and set aside.

4.In same pot over low heat, melt the butter.

5.Add flour, salt and pepper and whisk into melted butter until smooth.

6.Simmer and stir until mixture thickens into a paste and is golden.

7.Slowly add milk and whisk into butter mixture until smooth.

8.Bring to boil and then simmer until thickened.

9.There is no way to tell you how thick, except to say it should be thicker than gravy but not as thick as pudding.

10.If you have made basic white sauce, you will know when it is thick enough.

11.Remove pot from heat.

12.Add cheddar cheese and stir until cheese starts to melt.

13.Add macaroni and stir until coated.

14.Pour into a 9 x 12 baking dish or 2 quart casserole.

15.As an extra indulgence, you can sprinkle 4 oz more cheese on top.

16.I only do this if I happen to buy a 12 oz bag or block instead of 8 oz.

17.Bake about 20- 30 minutes, when you see top getting a bit crispy and brown.